I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize