ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
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