Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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