I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
This is my gift to your gina
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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