she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
