My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
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