I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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