I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
