i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
3pm strippers are depressing
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
