I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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