We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
This is my gift to your gina
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize