sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
