Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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