I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
