I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I'm bleeding and have questions
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
