escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
