Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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