Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
