So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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