Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
