dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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