matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
It's shark week go big or go home
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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