I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
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She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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