I want to stick my p in your. b.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Randomize
