Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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