Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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