bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
