"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
