Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
