He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
