I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
