Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I looked at my own cervix.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
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