just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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