At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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