so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
