how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
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