I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
