Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
