went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
