His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
