two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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