And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
