dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
