I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
