State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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