I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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