he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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