I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
