i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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