so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
