Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
