oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
