somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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