your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
