I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
