One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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