I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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