he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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