John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
