so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I have fence marks all over my body
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
