Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
