that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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