im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
