i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
