I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I cockslap morals
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
