Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
