So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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