the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize