Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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